i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
