Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
