thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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