She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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