In the future we'll all be gay
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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