All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
