You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
do nipples grow back?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize