Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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