Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize