I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
