please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
