Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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