Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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