im drinking this country out of the recession.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
