You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
