Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
