There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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