i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
