I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
