It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
