How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
