Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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