meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize