he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pants are for mortals
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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