Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
