He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
