Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
