i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
