Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
