Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize