I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
