I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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