Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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