Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
