hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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