So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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