Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
