Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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