Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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