4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Screwed.edu
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
