Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize