I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
