remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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