You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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