Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
