you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
