She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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