i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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