her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
