its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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