i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
