She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
