Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
