I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I love you.
Bad choice
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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