..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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