is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
