Are we in a gay sports bar?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
