Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
