True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
