Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
