yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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