My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
