Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
