I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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