I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
